Cov poj niam yog cov yooj yim dua. Leej niam lub peev xwm yog lub hauv paus ntawm qhov. Thaum pom tus me nyuam mos, muaj ntau tus poj niam tab tom muaj kev hlub thiab kev xyiv fab. Tab sis tsis yog tag nrho cov txiv neej yog npaj rau kev ua txij ua nkawm. Tsis txhob poob siab lossis thab plaub ntawm koj tus hlub, yog tias nws tsis hnov tib txoj kev xav. Cia peb kuaj xyuas qhov teeb meem no ntxiv.
Yuav ua li cas to taub hais tias ib tug txiv neej yog npaj kom muaj ib tug me nyuam? Alas, nws tsis yooj yim li los muab lus teb rau lo lus nug no. Wb saib ntawm nqe lus no "ntawm qhov lus sib cav". Yog vim li cas ib tug txiv neej tsis npaj rau kev yug me nyuam ntawm tus me nyuam.
Tam sim no nws yog tsawg dua thiab tsis tshua muaj peev xwm mus ntsib ib tug txiv neej nyob rau hauv 25 uas twb tau txais ib tsev neeg thiab ib tug poj koob yawg koob. Cov txiv neej lawv tus kheej piav qhia qhov no los ntawm qhov tseeb tias lawv tseem tsis tau npaj rau lub kauj ruam tseem ceeb no, uas lawv xav tau ntawm lawv ko taw, xav txog kev ua haujlwm. Thiab feem ntau, tus me nyuam tuaj yeem cuam tshuam txoj kev ua neej zoo li qub, thiab lawv tseem tsis tau muaj sij hawm nyob rau lawv tus kheej.
Cov kev tshawb fawb tsis ntev los no tau qhia tias nws yog zoo dua rau cov txiv neej muaj cov me nyuam ntawm cov neeg laus. Qhov no tsis tsuas yog txhawb rau kev paub ntau dua ntawm kev xav ntawm leej txiv, tab sis kuj cuam tshuam kev noj qab haus huv ntawm tus me nyuam. Cov kws tshawb fawb tau ua pov thawj tias ib tug txiv neej muaj lub siab xav tau tsim kom muaj tus me nyuam noj qab nyob zoo tshaj li tus tub hluas.
Ib txhia txiv neej hais tias lawv tsis nyiam cov me nyuam. Psychologists hais tias tsab ntawv no yog vim yog qhov tseeb tias thaum nws yog ib tug me nyuam, nws tsis tau hlub. Thiab thaum lub sij hawm no interpersonal teeb meem tshwm sim, tus txiv lub peev xwm tsis tuaj.
Kev ntshai ntawm kev tsis pub dawb kuj cuam tshuam tus cwj pwm ntawm tus me nyuam. Tom qab tag nrho, yug ntawm ib tug me nyuam mos tau ua ib qho haujlwm tseem ceeb rau ob leeg ntawm ob tug niam txiv.
Psychologists pom tias lwm qhov tseeb ntawm tus txiv neej lub unpreparedness rau paternity yog khib siab. Yog, poj niam zoo nkauj. Xam khib rau tus me nyuam. Tom qab tag nrho, ua ntej lub caij yug ntawm tus me nyuam, koj them tag nrho koj cov xim rau tus txiv neej. Kev ntshai tias koj yuav tsum tau qhia nrog lwm tus, txawm nrog koj tus menyuam, tsis pub ib tug txiv neej txaus siab rau nws txiv.
Qee tus kws kho kev ntseeg xav tias thaum ib tug txiv neej tsis npaj kom muaj ib tus menyuam, ces nws tsis muaj kev tso siab tias qhov no yog nws tus poj niam. Feem ntau koj tuaj yeem hnov cov kab lus "cia peb tos", "cia peb npaj", uas yog qhov nyuaj rau cov poj niam tsis txhob siv lawv tus kheej.
Ib qho tseeb qhov tseeb yog tias cov txiv neej muaj ntau dua li peb poj niam txhawj xeeb txog peb qhov kev zoo nkauj thiab kev nyiam. Kev ntshai hais tias tom qab yug me nyuam ntawm kev zoo nkauj dhau los yuav tsis muaj kev phem, kuj tsim txom cov txiv neej. Tsis xav tias muaj ib qho kev xav tias ib tug txiv neej yuav tsum txawj ntse, thiab ib tug poj niam yuav tsum zoo nkauj.
Ntawm chav kawm, tsis txhob xav hais tias txiv neej tsis xav tau cov me nyuam txhua. Thiab cia wb siv lub tswv yim ntawm cov kev xeeb tub hauv plab. Tsis tas li ntawd xwb, muaj lwm yam mob thaum ib tug txiv neej muaj kev nyuaj siab rau txoj cai rau leej txiv, thiab nws tus poj niam hlub nws cov lus teb "tsis npaj", "thawj txoj hauj lwm, ces cov me nyuam," "Kuv tseem hluas dhau lawm," thiab lwm yam.
Nws tsim nyog pondering rau lo lus nug, tab sis yog nws yuav tsum tau npaj nrog xws precision tus me nyuam.
Tom qab tag nrho, qhov tseem ceeb tshaj plaws yog lub siab xav ua kom muaj tus me nyuam. Txawm tias thaum cev xeeb tub, koj tuaj yeem ua tau ntau yam: tiav txoj kev kawm, txhim kho khoom zoo, kho kom zoo ntxiv. Tsis muaj kev xav txog cov me nyuam yog ib qho kev txhawb siab rau lub neej zoo.
Puas yog nws ua tau rau xav txog kev zoo siab thiab kev ua tiav lub neej yam tsis muaj menyuam? Kuv paub tseeb tias nyob rau hauv qab ntawm koj lub siab koj tus txiv neej sawv cev li cas nws plays nrog nws tus me tub los yog drives tawm cov annoying annoying los ntawm nws tus me ntxhais. Koj tsuas yog yuav tsum tau ua siab loj thiab ua siab ntev thiab piav rau koj kev xav hais tias muaj me nyuam tsis yog kev ntshai thiab kev lav ris xwb, tab sis kuj zoo siab.