Qhov tseem ceeb tshaj plaws uas yuav tsum tau nco txog yog tus cwj pwm sib fwm txog tus me nyuam, raws li ib tus neeg muaj txhij txhua. Txawm tias tus me tshaj plaws tus me nyuam tsis tuaj yeem suav tias yog ib qho tseem tsis tau to taub dab tsi. Cov menyuam yaus muaj kev nkag siab zoo thiab zoo tshaj li qhov peb xav tau. Ntawm no yog ob peb txoj cai rau kev sib tham nrog tus menyuam thiab nws cov upbringing, sau ua ke los ntawm lub ntiaj teb cov xib fwb qhia ntawv thiab cov kws kho mob hlwb.
1. Ua kom koj tus menyuam muaj kev hlub thiab sov so. Nco ntsoov tias nws yeej paub tias koj hlub nws. Tsis txhob ua siab lwj siab hais nrov nrov, qhia koj txoj kev xav ncaj ncees thiab nthuav dav.
2. Nco ntsoov muab koj tus kheej khau rau ntawm ib tug me nyuam yaus. Nug koj tus kheej seb nws xav tau dabtsi: tus me nyuam roj hmab los yog koj lub siab? Yog hais tias tus me nyuam pheej tsis zoo, tej zaum nws muaj lwm qhov laj thawj uas tsis yog nws lub siab phem?
3. Tsim kom muaj kev ua ub ua no txhua hnub. Qhov no tseem ceeb heev. Nws yuav tsum ua rau tus me nyuam txij thaum yau. Psychologists tau ua pov thawj hais tias tsoom fwv ntawm lub hnub tsis yog disciplines tsuas yog tus me nyuam, tab sis kuj nws calms. Lub kas txom nyem tau siv rau dab tsi yuav tsum tos rau nws nyob rau hauv ib lub sij hawm los yog lwm. Nws zoo li calmly rau yav tom ntej, tsis muaj kev tshee tsho thiab kev nyuab siab tsis tseem ceeb.
4. Txhais qhov meej ciam chaw. Yuav kom cob qhia ib tug me nyuam, koj yuav tsum piav qhia nws seb qhov twg yog qhov zoo thiab qhov phem. Thiab tsis txhob cia li piav, tab sis qhia meej rau qhov no rau koj tus kheej. Yog tias koj ua ib yam dab tsi "tsis", ces koj yuav tsis tas, thiab tsis yog ib lub sijhawm dhau ib zaug. Ua kom ruaj khov thiab zoo ib yam. Qhov no muaj kev cuam tshuam zoo heev rau tus menyuam txoj kev xav.
5. Tsim cov cai uas yuav tsum tsis txhob raug ua txhaum raws li txhua lub sijhawm. Tus me nyuam yuav tsum paub tias dab tsi yuav ua rau nws, uas tuaj yeem ua txhaum los yog chim siab rau koj, thiab nws yuav tsum tsis txhob ua. Qhia tus me nyuam kom los lav nws lub luag haujlwm. Nyob rau hauv lub neej nws yog heev pab tau.
6. Txhob cia siab nrog kev txwv. Yog tias koj txwv ib yam dab tsi - piav qhia. Thiab tsis dhau nws nrog lo lus "tsis tsim nyog." Rau ib tug me nyuam me, leej twg "tsis tuaj yeem" yeej ib txwm kaw txoj kev loj hlob. Nws yuav tsis txhim kho thiab daig nyob hauv nws cov khoom. Muab tus me nyuam muaj kev ywj pheej xaiv. Tsis txhob cia nws poob, tab sis cia kuv ua yuam kev.
7. Txiav txim seb qhov kev txhaum ntawm txoj cai yuam cai. Qhov no tseem ceeb heev. Tus menyuam yuav tsum to taub tias qhov nws tos kom nws tsis ua raws li cov cai koj tau hais. Nco ntsoov piav qhia txog qhov ua txhaum rau: "Koj tsis tshem cov khoom ua si, yog li koj yuav tsis saib tas lauv hnub no." Sij hawm dhau los, tus me nyuam yuav kawm kom nkag siab txog kev sib raug zoo ntawm kev ua phem thiab kev rau txim. Nws yuav pib npaj thiab cob nws tus kheej.
8. Hais txog txoj hauj lwm zoo. Cov kab hauv qab yog qhov tus me nyuam to taub txhua yam uas yog. Yog li ntawd, yog tias koj xav kom nws tsum tsis txhob dag, nws tsis muaj qab hau li hais tias: "Koj tsis zam txim rau niam Koj thiaj li tso nws nrog koj tus cwj pwm! "Nws zoo dua yog tias:" Tsis txhob qw, thov. " Nws yuav zoo dua thiab to taub.
9. Paub meej. Koj tus menyuam yuav tsum paub tias "tsis muaj" yog koj txoj kev txiav txim siab txiav npluav. Yog hais tias koj ib zaug "muab khoob" - tus me nyuam yuav hnov koj qaug zog thiab tsis ua raws li. Cov kev tu plaub ntxiv yuav nyuaj, nws yuav nyuaj rau koj rov qab los ua koj cov qub cai.
10. Tsis txhob qog cov tshuaj dawb. Thaum tus me nyuam sim ua yuam kom koj ua ib yam dab tsi - qw, quaj, thiab lwm yam. - nyob twj ywm. Yog tias koj tsawg kawg ua ib zaug ua raws li nws xav tau - nws kawm tau tias qhov no yog ib txoj hau kev zoo ntawm txoj haujlwm thiab yuav ua ntau zaus.
11. Koj yuav tsum yog ib txoj cai rau tus menyuam. Lo lus decisive yuav tsum yog koj li. Yog tias koj pom tias tus me nyuam yuav txob txob thiab nkees, ces koj tsuas hais tias: "Lub sij hawm mus pw." Tsis muaj wrangling thiab whims nyob rau hauv cov ntaub ntawv no yog tsis tsim nyog. Tus me nyuam yuav to taub sai sai no thiab siv nws. Nws yuav hnov kev txhawb zog rau koj, uas yuav pab nws yav tom ntej.
12. Tsis txhob ntshai ntawm tus menyuam qhov kev chim siab. Nws muaj cai, koj yuav tsum tsis txhob txwv nws qhia nws txoj kev xav. Thiab koj yuav tsum tsis txaj muag nws rau kua muag. Kev ua siab dawb thiab qhib siab nyob rau hauv tsev neeg - kev cog lus ntawm kev sib raug zoo muaj zog rau lub neej.
13. Nco ntsoov nrhiav sijhawm rau tus menyuam. Tsis txhob tso nws. Txawm hais tias ib feeb, tab sis nws yuav paub tias koj tsis saib xyuas. Yog tias koj pom tias tus me nyuam txhawj xeeb txog ib yam dab tsi - xyuam xim rau nws. Cov neeg mob yuav tos, thiab tus menyuam txoj kev ntseeg yuav ploj mus tas li.
14. Tus menyuam loj zog, koj yim yuav tsum sib txuas lus nrog nws. Piav rau tus me nyuam txog qhov tseem ceeb ntawm cov khoom, nrog nws tham txog kev sib luag. Teb nws cov lus nug ncaj ncees, tsis txhob txaj muag ntawm koj incomprehension, tsis txhob txim xav paub.
Ob lub ntsiab yuam kev ntawm cov niam txiv
Vim li cas ib txhia neeg - leej niam thiab leej txiv - qee zaum muaj qhov muag dig muag rau tus me nyuam qhov kev ua txhaum los yog, dua li, dhau ntawm overbearing? Qhov no tshwm sim rau ntau yam.
Ntev npaum li cas
Cov niamtxiv tus txiv ntseeg hais tias qhov kev coj ua zoo li no yuav ua rau lub neej zoo siab rau tus menyuam. Tab sis kuj muaj lwm cov neeg uas tsis paub hais tias yuav ua li cas txwv tsis pub ib yam dab tsi rau tus me nyuam me. Lawv tsis xav pom ib lub ntsej muag tu siab lossis ua li cas ib tug me nyuam pib quaj thaum tsis muaj ib yam dab tsi rau nws. Tseem muaj lwm cov neeg xav kom tsis txhob ua yuam kev hauv lub sijhawm lawv niam lawv txiv. Lawv poob mus rau lwm qhov huab, muab tus me nyuam muaj kev ywj pheej ntau dhau ntawm txhua yam.
Ntau Txoj Cai
Feem ntau ntawm cov niam txiv muaj hwj chim txhawb nqa lawv cov me nyuam txoj kev lawv tau tsa lawv tus kheej. Hom kev coj tus cwj pwm ntawm niam txiv no kis tau los ntawm ib tiam dhau ib tiam thiab tsis tshua muaj kev xav. Cov neeg laus no yeej ib txwm paub tseeb tias lawv yuav tsum paub kev cob qhia - ib tug me nyuam rau lawv yog yam zoo li ib tug tub rog uas tuaj yeem raug txiav txim thiab nws yuav mloog lus. Nyob rau hauv tej tsev neeg, cov me nyuam mloog lawv niam lawv txiv, tab sis tsis tshua muaj kev hwm rau lawv. Txawm hais tias, peb yuav tsum lees hais tias nrog rau tus qauv zoo li qhov kev twb kev txuas tseem nyob ze dua nyob rau hauv cov ntaub ntawv ntawm permissiveness.