Nruab nrab ntawm tus hlub thiab tus me nyuam uas tsis muaj tub sab yog qhov sib txawv loj uas tsis raug coj mus rau hauv tus account thaum sib tham txog upbringing. Pamper tus me nyuam, coj nws los ntawm nws lub sij hawm, coj nws tag nrho cov whims ntawm nws ob txhais tes, indulging nws lub siab nyiam thiab nug nws khoom tseem ceeb, cov khoom ua si - nws yooj yim heev. Dab tsi yuav tsis tau hais txog tus menyuam hauv tsev yog tus me nyuam uas leej niam leej txiv feem ntau muab kev saib xyuas, kev hlub, kev mloog thiab kev hlub.
Cov tub ntxhais kawm ntawv kuj tau txais txiaj ntsim, tab sis tsis yog vim lawv xav tau thiab xav li cas, tab sis tsis muaj kev zam txim, thiab lawv tuaj yeem ua ntau yam, tab sis dua, nws tsis zoo li cov niam txiv xav kom txhiv tau qee yam kev txhaum lossis ua rau lawv tsis txaus siab. Tus me nyuam xeeb tub xav tias txhua yam raug tso cai rau nws thiab nws coj zoo li tus vaj ntxwv thiab Vajtswv hauv nws qhov chaw, thiab tag nrho vim hais tias nws niam nws txiv tau pib ua tiav tag nrho cov kev xav thiab kev xav ntawm tus menyuam txaj. Feem ntau xws li cov menyuam yaus tau teem caij cov neeg ua yeeb yam, xws li hauv cov khw muag khoom, thaum lawv xav kom lawv yuav khoom ua si los yog cov qhob noom xim kasfes uas lawv nyiam, thiab lawv qhov teeb meem yog tias lawv tsis xav to taub thiab hnov qhov tsis kam.
Txiav txim seb cov me nyuam puas loj npaum li cas
Yuav luag tag nrho cov sij hawm, qhov no tshwm sim tsis paub, yuav luag dhau thawj lub lim piam ntawm tus me nyuam lub neej. Cov niam thiab txiv vim hais tias ntawm kev hlub ntau tshaj ntawm tus me nyuam sim ua lub neej ntawm crumbs raws li qhov zoo tshaj plaws li sai tau, ntau xis, yog li lawv pib ua kom tiav tag nrho cov kev ntshaw. Tias tus me nyuam tsis tau ua, nrhiav nws ua kev zam txim. Piv txwv, yog tias cov niam txiv tawm ntawm tus me nyuam mus ua si nyob hauv txoj kev thiab ntaus ib tug neeg hauv lub thawv ntawv, ces niam thiab leej txiv pib cem nws rau hauv pej xeem nkaus xwb rau kev ncaj ncees, thaum tib lub sij hawm lawv paub tseeb tias lawv tus menyuam yeej muaj cai thiab loj hlob thiab muaj kev ywj pheej, ntxiv rau paub tiv thaiv nws tus kheej.
Feem ntau cov niam txiv ua rau lawv txoj haujlwm tsis txaus siab rau lawv cov menyuam, yog li ntawd lawv pib ua lawv cov khoom ua si, tsis txhob noj ib hnub thiab siv cov hnub so hauv qhov chaw ua si, hauv qhov chaw ua si lossis tsuas siv sijhawm nrog tus menyuam tom qab siv tag nrho hnub nrog nws hauv tsev . Ua ke nrog tus me nyuam loj tuaj, tus nqi rau cov khoom ua si loj hlob, tab sis nws tsis txaus siab rau lawv lawm, vim nws muaj ntau yam zoo. Tus me nyuam loj hlob qia dub, leej twg thiaj li nyiam nws txoj kev xav, kev ntshaw thiab nws tus kheej.
Yog tias leej niam leej txiv tsis tuaj yeem yuav tus nqi tshaj plaws rau tus me nyuam, ces nws tsis xav nkag siab vim li cas, vim nws tau txais qhov nws xav tau, vim li cas nws ho tsis kam? Nws tsis yog to taub qhov tseeb tias muaj peev xwm muaj teeb meem nyob rau hauv tsev neeg nrog nyiaj, nws tsuas yog xav txhua yam.
Yuav kom sib txuas nrog tus menyuam mos kom tsis txhob dilute nws?
Ntau leej niam leej niam xav hais tias tus me nyuam yuav muaj qhov zoo nkauj thaum yau, yog tias nws muaj khaub ncaws hnav, noj zaub mov thiab khoom ua si kim. Txawm li cas los xij, lawv tsis xav tias nws yog qhov tseem ceeb rau cov niam txiv lawv tus kheej, thiab tsis yog rau tus me nyuam. Poj niam ib tus menyuam tsis xav txog tias nws cov khaub ncaws lossis cov kab laug sab npaum li cas. Lawv xav tau kev saib xyuas thiab kev saib xyuas. Nws tus me nyuam yuav tsum raug qhia kom hwm cov kev ntshaw ntawm cov neeg, thiab nws yuav tsum to taub tias nws muaj peev xwm thiab tsis tas yuav, nws yuav tsum ua tib zoo kho cov kev txwv thiab kev tsis pom zoo. Koj tsis tas yuav tawm ntawm tus me nyuam, nws npau suav ntawm kev sib koom tes nrog koj mus rau lub tiaj ua si, mus rau ib qho chaw picnic out-of-town los yog mus rau lub voj voog. Cov tub hluas yuav tsum to taub tias koj tsis tuaj yeem sib ntaus, koj yuav tsum tuaj yeem sawv ntsug rau koj cov yeeb yam. Txwv tsis pub, koj yuav yog rau koj cov me nyuam tsuas yog ib qho nyiaj, thiab tsis nyiam los ntawm kev saib xyuas cov niam txiv.
Yuav ua li cas rov kho dua ib tug me nyuam tub?
Psychologists sib cav hais tias nruj injunctions ua rau tus me nyuam psyche. Nrog rau qhov no koj tuaj yeem cam, tab sis tsis txhob maj mus rau kev kub ntxhov. Yog hais tias koj ua tiav tag nrho cov kev ntshaw ntawm tus me nyuam ntxhais, ces koj tso cai rau nws tsis xav tias yog ib qho ntawm lwm tus neeg. Tus menyuam yuav tsum to taub tias nws yog dab tsi, tab sis kuj muaj lwm tus neeg. Nws tsis tas li yuav tsum tau hnov los ntawm koj cov lus "koj ua tsis tau" thiab "koj ua tau", yog li koj txhais tau qhov uas koj tau txais. Koj txoj hauj lwm yog qhia tus me nyuam kom tswj hwm nws tus cwj pwm, tus cwj pwm, kev ntshaw thiab ua raws li txhua yam teeb meem.
Tus me nyuam yuav tsum tsis kam thiab tsis txhob ntshai nws, cia li piav txhua lub ntsiab lus rau koj kev tsis pom zoo. Qhia koj tus me nyuam tias koj hlub nws, tab sis nco ntsoov qhov no los yog qhov teeb meem, thaum nws chim siab rau koj, yog li koj yuav tsis yuav nws qhov no los yog qhov ntawd. Tus menyuam yuav tsum hnov koj txoj kev hlub hauv txhua qhov xwm txheej, tab sis nws yuav tsum paub tias nws yuav tsum coj li cas thiaj li yog ib tug tub los yog ntxhais zoo.
Nco ntsoov tias koj yuav tsum khaws koj cov khoom tactics. Yog tias hnub no koj tsis kam tus me nyuam, thiab tag kis yuav nws seb nws nug li cas, ces tus me nyuam yuav nkag siab tias nrog kev pab los ntawm kev sib qiv koj tuaj yeem raug ntaus rau koj. Tsis txhob tso, nyob rau txhua qhov kev ntxub ntxaug, tsis txhob muab rau nws.
Tej zaum, koj muaj ib qho teeb meem thaum tus menyuam hauv lub khw muag khoom poob thiab xav mus yuav ib yam dab tsi? Qhov tseeb, koj poob ntsej muag thiab txaj muag, yog li koj mus yuav yam koj xav tau thiab tawm hauv lub khw. Maj mam, tus me nyuam to taub tias qhov no ua rau koj thiab pib xyaum hauv tsev thiab lwm qhov chaw. Lub sijhawm no, koj yuav tsum piav qhia rau tus menyuam tias koj tsuas yog pib nrog nws tham thaum nws sawv hauv pem teb thiab tuaj rau nws tus kheej. Tus menyuam mosliab qhov muag rau koj qhov kev tsis txaus siab txhua lub sijhawm. Yog tias nws pom tias koj tsis muaj qhov tsis zoo rau nws lub ntsej muag, ces nws yuav nkag siab tias qhov no tsis ua hauj lwm rau koj nyob rau hauv ib lub caij ntawm calm.
Yuav ua li cas tus menyuam yuav raug kev puas tsuaj?
Thaum nws pom nws tus kheej hauv neeg laus, nws yuav tsum ntshai, hnyav hnyav heev. Vim hais tias nws siv tau txhua yam ib nias, nws tsis paub dab tsi ua haujlwm thiab tau nyiaj. Nws tsis muaj phooj ywg, vim nws paub tseeb tias nws yog qhov zoo tshaj plaws. Cov neeg yuav tsis pom tias nws yog heev-heev, thiab qhov no mob siab rau nws tus kheej thiab ntxiv mus, yuav ua rau sov so. To taub hais tias txij li thaum koj thov Vajtswv rau nws, koj yuav tsis raug molested los ntawm lwm tus, vim hais tias ntawm no nws yuav nyuaj rau nws mus txuas lus nrog lwm tus neeg, kawm thiab ua hauj lwm. Tom qab tag nrho, koj tsuas yog qhia nws yuav ua li cas coj nws, tab sis nyob rau hauv rov qab koj yuav tsis muab nws tam sim ntawd.
Cov niam txiv txoj kev hlub yog qhov muag tsis pom thiab nws yog qhov phem rau tus me nyuam. Thaum tus me nyuam tawm hauv Isotcov lub tsev, nws tuaj yeem ua rau nws tsis kam. Thiab thaum nws muaj ib tse neeg, nws yuav tsis muaj peev xwm ua kom tiav nws tes dej num, vim qhov tseem ceeb tshaj rau cov tsis nyiam thiab tsis nyiam. Nyob rau hauv xws li ib tsev neeg yuav tsis muaj kev zoo siab thiab kev sib haum xeeb. Yog li ntawd, koj yuav tsum qhia tus me nyuam kom hwm lwm tus, muaj peev xwm hlub thiab muab kev hlub rau lwm tus, ua rau nws qaug zog thiab tswj koj txoj kev hlub hauv txoj kev yog.