Txhua tus niam nyiam puag nws tus me nyuam, yog li ntawd nws muab nws txoj kev hlub, qhia tias nws muaj lub siab xav tiv thaiv, tiv thaiv ntawm kev nyuaj, kev txhawj xeeb. Qhov tshwj xeeb tshaj yog thaum tus me nyuam tsis to taub cov lus thiab nws muaj peev xwm paub txog kev xav xwb.
Thawj thawj hnub ntawm nws lub neej, tus me nyuam hnov sov thiab tsw zoo li ib leej niam thaum lub sij hawm niam niam puag, nws tau siv thiab nco qab tias qhov no txhais tau tias kev nplij siab thiab kev nyab xeeb. Yog vim li no tus menyuam quaj quaj thiaj li pom tau tias nws niam tau coj nws hauv nws txhais tes.
Tus kws sau paj huam Ashley Montague hauv phau ntawv "Touching" hais tias lub khawm tau qhia rau tus menyuam kom paub txog kev hlub ... Tias ib tug me nyuam uas tau khawm ua ntej hnub nyoog xya yeej tsis muaj peev xwm muaj kev nyuaj siab.
Hnab, raws li kev tsim tus cwm pwm
Yuav tsum siv sij hawm ntau npaum li cas los khawm me nyuam? Cov kws tshawb fawb ntawm cov kws kho mob Ipsychologists tau ua pov thawj tias kov, sib zog thiab khav rau lawv tus kheej tsis yog coj kev zoo siab xwb, tab sis kuj pab txhawb rau menyuam txoj kev loj hlob. Nws muaj xws li ib lub sij hawm kho mob - "tsev kho mob", nws yog siv rau hauv cov menyuam yaus uas yuam kom nyob twj ywm hauv cov tsev ntawm tus me nyuam. Cov me nyuam no, txawm tias tag nrho lawv cov kev sib tw, nrog rau qhov sib zog, thiab zaws (tab sis qhov no, nws yuav zoo li, dhau, smoother thiab kov, tiam sis feem ntau kev xav tsis xim), nws thiaj li pib poob qab lawv cov phooj ywg hauv txoj kev loj hlob.
Thaum tus me nyuam loj hlob, nws tsis tshua tsim nyog rau nws muaj niam txiv khawm. Nws ua rau cov phooj ywg, nws lub voj voog, tab sis nws tseem qee zaum xav paub txog qhov sov so ntawm nws niam txoj kev khwv.
Yav dhau los, nws ntseeg tias feem ntau puag menyuam yaus rau lawv tus kheej - lawv tau hais tias tus menyuam tuaj yeem tuaj yeem tuaj yeem ua rau tus menyuam mos liab, tsis tshua xav paub, ntxim nyiam. Tam sim no, cov menyuam kawm ntawv qhov kev puas siab puas ntsws hais tias cov menyuam yaus, nws niam nws txiv feem ntau nyiam thiab muaj lub luag haujlwm, coj tus cwj pwm zoo, muaj kev xav ntau thiab muaj kev ntseeg siab hauv lawv lub neej laus.
Feem ntau, txhua tus niam yeej muaj peev xwm xav txog thaum nws tus me nyuam xav tau kev pab xws li khawm.
"Peb xav tau 4 hugs ib hnub rau kev ciaj sia, 8 kev txhawb nqa thiab 12 rau kev loj hlob." Virginia Satir, tus kws kho hlwb American.
Ntawm chav kawm, qhov kev xav tau rau puag hauv txhua tus me nyuam yog tus kheej. Cov me nyuam yaus tuaj yeem nkees yog tias lawv nquag hnia, khawm thiab nyem. Mloog tus me nyuam, saib nws: tsis txhob cuam tshuam nws yog hais tias nws tsis khoom los yog koom nrog. Tsis tas yuav hais, tsis txhob cuam tshuam tus me nyuam nrog puag thaum noj mov: cov me nyuam tuaj yeem ua kom khaus, cuam tshuam rau lawv txiv. Txawm tias tus me nyuam muaj nws tus kheej "tus kheej cheeb tsam" thiab qhov no yuav tsum raug lees paub thiab hwm.
Tom qab koj saib tus menyuam, koj yuav pom tau yooj yim pom tau tias feem ntau ntawm cov me nyuam nws tus kheej pom thaum lawv xav tau lawv niam (lossis leej txiv) puag. Tus me nyuam tuaj yeem tuaj thiab nqa tus niam txiv los ntawm tes, nug rau lub hauv caug lossis tes, hnoos - nws yog thaum lub sij hawm ntawd cov hugs tsuas yog xav tau, tab sis kuj tseem ceeb. Yog li, cov me nyuam tau tshem kev ntshai thiab kev tsis ntseeg.
Nws yog ib qho tseem ceeb sau cia, thiab qhov tseeb uas cov khawm yog qhov tseem ceeb thiab tsis yog qhov tsim nyog rau tus me nyuam xwb, tiam sis kuj yog rau ib tus neeg laus, vim hais tias leej niam tseem nyob twj ywm, me nyuam mos, kev coj dawb huv, raug kev puas siab ntsws, xav tias nws tseem ceeb.
Hnov koj cov me nyuam, hlub lawv thiab hwm lawv!