Tsis txhob "khij nyhiab" rau ntawm qhov chaw me me
Nrog cov me nyuam txhua yam yog tseeb: rau lawv, tej lo lus tshiab - zoo li ib qho khoom ua si, uas lawv tau pom nyob rau hauv cov xuab zeb. Hnov ib nqe lus cuam tshuam los ntawm lwm tus neeg (hauv kindergarten, tom khw, ntawm kev), lawv tuaj tos nws. Cov me nyuam ntawm peb los yog plaub xyoos feem ntau tsis tseem nkag siab lub ntsiab ntawm cov lus cog lus uas lawv siv thaum lawv hais lus. Lawv tuaj yeem ua ib zaug lossis ob zaug tig mus rau hauv kev sib tham ib yam dab tsi zoo li no, thiab ces xyuam xim txog nws. Tseeb tiag, yog cov niam txiv ua npau taws, ua phem, raug txim lossis luag, tus menyuam yav tom ntej tuaj yeem cog lus rau leej niam thiab leej txiv, xyuas lawv kom muaj zog. Thiab tej zaum yuav tsis cog lus, tab sis lo lus uas tshwm sim los ntawm cov tshuaj tiv thaiv ntawm cov laus, nco ntsoov rau tseeb - psychologists hu nws "anchoring", fixation. Yog li ntawd, peb yuav tsum ua tib zoo rhuav tshem "kev sib tham". Yog tias tus me nyuam thawj zaug poob qis, ua txuj ua tias lawv tsis tau hnov dab tsi. Tab sis nrog lub ntug ntawm koj lub qhov muag, saib tus me nyuam. Yog hais tias nws yog ib yam ntawm lub sij hawm ntawd, ces, feem ntau yuav, cursing yog ib lo lus yuam kev pom tias yuav ploj los ntawm nws tus kheej. Ib qho ntxiv, yog tias tus me nyuam txhob txwm tshaj tawm tus neeg txiv plig, thiab nws tus tijlaug - tus cwj pwm ("potty" curses ntawm lub hnub nyoog tseem ceeb heev) lossis siv kev hais lus, pom meej meej txog nws lub ntsiab lus. Maj mam hais tias hauv koj tsev neeg tsis tau hais tawm. Txhawm rau txim los yog txaj muag tus me nyuam tsis tsim nyog nws: nws tseem tsawg heev thiab tsis to taub nws ua dab tsi, yog li koj txoj hauj lwm yog qhia kom nws ua qhov yog. Kev sib ntaus hauv kev teb rau kev tsim txom - feem ntau qhov phem ntawm yam koj xav tau ntawm! Nws puv ob chav coj dawb huv: niam thiab txiv tau cog lus, ib tug me nyuam tsis tuaj yeem? Yog tias tus me nyuam nug kom to taub lub ntsiab lus ntawm cov lus tsis zoo, ua raws li qhov teeb meem no. Thaum twg yog ib qho zoo heev cov lus qhuab qhia, koj tuaj yeem tau suab nws, thov tsis txhob qhia tawm ntau dua. Yog hais tias tsis muaj cov lus hais, hais khov kho: "Peb tsis paub cov lus nyob hauv peb tsev neeg", hloov cov xim ntawm tus me nyuam rau qee qhov kev ua si.
Nrog kuv tham, Niam
Rau li ntawm tsib rau xya xyoo qhov teeb meem yog hloov - me me hooligans pib cog lus profanely. Vim li cas? Feem ntau, ua li no, lawv tab tom sim ... nyiam cov niam txiv txoj kev xav! Piv txwv li, kuv niam tau "dai" ob xuab moos ntawm lub xov tooj, thiab tus tub tab tom sim nws tawm ntawm lub raj tsis tas. Tsis yog "niam, cia ua si" tsis ua haujlwm. Tiam sis nws yuav ua rau nws txhaws cov lus phem - lub raj yuav raug muab tso tseg tam sim ntawd. Tseeb tiag, leej niam yuav ua rau kev poob siab hais lus, tab sis, ces tso dag thiab yeej nrog nws ua si! Lwm cov ntsiab lus rau kev hais lus dev yog ib qho kev sim ua kom ib tug neeg twg: ib tug tij laug, ib tug neeg laus kos duab los yog ib tug series (yog, yog tias koj saib lawv nrog tus me nyuam, koj yuav xav tsis thoob ntawm cov lus "txiv neej", "tub ceev xwm", thiab lwm yam). Lwm qhov laj thawj - lub siab xav saib xyuas ntau dua thiab "muaj zog" nyob rau hauv ob lub qhov muag ntawm cov phooj ywg. Yuav ua li cas rau tus me nyuam yaus tsis txhob hais lus dev?
■ Sim ua kom muaj kev sib raug zoo nrog nws tam sim no, piav qhia seb qhov twg yog qhov zoo thiab qhov phem. Psychologists hais tias: 5-7 xyoo yog qhov zoo tshaj plaws lub hnub nyoog rau kev sib txuas lus, vim hais tias muaj ntau tus menyuam loj hlob kev ntshai ntawm kev sib cuam tshuam - lawv ntshai tsis ua neej raws li kev cia siab ntawm cov laus.
■ Txawm yog dab tsi los xij ntawm kev tsim txom koj tus me nyuam, nyob twj ywm. Hais ncaj qha: "Kuv tsis xav hnov tej lus los ntawm koj!" Tsis txhob qhia koj tsis meej pem, txwv tsis pub tus me nyuam yuav nco ntsoov koj qhov kev tawm tsam thiab henceforth yuav tuaj yeem hais lus ywj pheej kom ua rau lwm tus ntshai.
Qhia tus me nyuam kom qhia nws txoj kev npau taws yam tsis muaj kev ntxias. Nws zoo dua rau nws hais tias: "Ua li cas koj npau taws kuv, Niam!", Tshaj tawm yuav luag ntxhi tom qab koj nraub qaum.
"Sau, Haus Yadu"
Nrog cov hluas, txhua yam yog teeb meem ntau dua. Ua ntej, feem ntau lawv tsis quav ntsej txog yam lawv niam lawv txiv xav txog lawv cov lus. Qhov thib ob, lawv cov lus sib txuas lus nrog cov lus "coj txawv txawv". Thiab qhov no tsis yog ib tug phooj ywg (tab sis nws kuj yog suffices) - feem ntau yog cov tub ntxhais hluas slang ("loft" (paj hlwb), "tusa" (tuam txhab), "khau khaum" (niam txiv) los yog kev nthuav dav ntawm cov lus hailing ntawm kev sib txuas lus hauv internet (" , "krosavcheg," "preved," "pasitiffgeg," thiab lwm yam.) Txawm li cas los xij, tus kws kho mob feem ntau xav tias cov hluas nrog lawv cov lus yuav tsum ... tawm hauv ib leeg, txawm tias nws ua rau koj tuag. cov kws tshwj xeeb, cov tub hluas ntxhais hluas yog ib qho phenomenon: nws muaj, thiab yeej yuav tsum yog ib qho tseem ceeb ntawm cov tub hluas ntxhais hluas. cov tub ntxhais hluas, lawv txoj kev sib txuas lus yog kev ua pa ntawm txoj kev ywj pheej hauv lub ntiaj teb no ntawm cov neeg laus, thiab nws tseem yog ib qhov dej ntawm "peb li" thiab "tsis yog peb li." Cov neeg txawj ntse hais tias cov tub ntxhais hluas hloov dua tshiab txhua tsib xyoo, uas txhais tau hais tias cov nqe lus uas ua rau koj quab yuam, yuav ploj mus thaum koj tus menyuam loj hlob thiab nws thaum kawg tsiv mus rau ib txwm lus.
Unbearable siab
Cov neeg laus feem ntau ntshai los ntawm kev ua yeeb yam rau tus hluas nkauj, uas tau hais tawm rau hauv kev txhoj puab heev thiab sib tham. Txawm li cas los xij, cov kws kho mob tau caw cov niam txiv tsis txhob ntshai - qhov no yog ib theem ntawm kev loj hlob. Nws hloov tawm ntawm qhov kev xam pom ntawm evolution ntawm thawj theem ib tug neeg paub lub ntiaj teb no yog ib qho chaw txawv teb chaws thiab tiv thaiv nws ntau li ntau tau, nrog rau cov lus cog lus thiab fists. Thiab tsuas yog nrog lub hnub nyoog rau nws los ntawm kev nkag siab hais tias lub ntiaj teb ib ncig, feem ntau, tsis yog li ntawd phem. Yog li, thov kom tus tub hluas xav kom muaj kev sib haum xeeb - ib txoj hauj lwm uas tsis muaj kev tsis ntseeg thiab, dhau mus, yog ib qho txaus ntshai: yog tias ib tug tub hluas pheej mus ua kom nws tus kheej quab yuam, ces yav tom ntej nws muaj peev xwm tig mus rau hauv kev ua tsov ua rog. Qhov tseeb, qhov no tsis txhais hais tias koj yuav tsum saib ntawm koj tus ntiv tes thaum tus tub sim "muab lub hauv pliaj" rau thawj tus neeg ntawm txoj kab los yog nws tus ntxhais tsis zoo rau nws pog. Pab lawv kom "tso kev xyaw" nyob rau hauv kev coj ua. Football, boxing, basketball lossis niaj hnub kev seev cev - kev ua haujlwm nquag ua rau ua rau lub hlwb tshee.