Qhov twg pib
Nqa ib daim ntawv ntawm daim ntawv thiab ob kab (tawm ntawm qhov chaw txaus) sau 12 ntawm koj tus yam ntxwv uas teb cov lus nug "Kuv yog leej twg?" thiab "Kuv yog dab tsi?" Ib tus cwj pwm yog ib lo lus, uas yog, lub npe yuav tsum tshwm nyob rau hauv thawj kab, thiab nyob rau hauv ob - rau adjectives. Vim tias qhov no yog kev nthuav qhia tus kheej, nws yog tsim nyog hais txog cov yam ntxwv uas zoo li tshwj xeeb tshaj yog rau koj, nrog rau cov uas, txawm tias tsis zoo tag nrho, yog txoj kev txhim kho zoo los ntawm koj.
Piv txwv, lub teeb tuaj yeem yog: "addicting", "sissy", "txhob txwm ua" thiab hais txog. Tab sis yog hais tias lub tswv yim muaj koj ntau lub ntsiab lus txhais, tsis txhob tawm tsam. Daim ntawv muaj peev xwm zoo li no: "Amazon", "ya", "dej tsaws tsag" thiab lwm yam. Ntxiv rau txhua tus yam ntxwv ntawm ob lub npe sau nws cov lus rov qab. Nws tsis yog hais txog txoj cai ntawm cov lus tsis txaus ntseeg ntawm "kub-txias" hom uas tau raug yuam hauv tsev kawm ntawv, tab sis txog qhov koj pom lub antipode ntawm kev ntxim nyiam no. Tsis txhob maj. Mloog koj tus kheej. Piv txwv, qhov lus tshaj tawm ntawm "khaus" tej zaum yog "kev lag luam sausage", thiab tej zaum "martin". Ib tug neeg tsis muaj zog "dej tsaws tsag" yuav muaj lub "pas dej", thiab ib tug neeg - "dej hiav txwv". Thiab nws yog tshwj xeeb mas hais tias nws yuav tiv thaiv lub "Amazon". Tej zaum ib tug "qaib"?
Nws muab tawm? Yawm suab! Ntawm seem ntawm qhov seem ntawm qhov chaw huv, txhua tus khub, nyob ntawm qhov tseem ceeb ntawm tus yam ntxwv rau koj tus kheej. Ib tug zauv yuav tsum yog qhov tseem ceeb tshaj plaws, ntawm koj qhov kev pom, tus lej ntawm tus xov tooj 12 - qhov tsawg tshaj qhov tseem ceeb rau lub sijhawm no. Tam sim no koj tuaj yeem xa ib daim qauv ntawm tus kheej-kev nthuav qhia rau ib tus neeg tsis paub meej - cia nws kawm. Thiab nws tig mus rau nws tus kheej.
Dab tsi yog Tom ntej
Koj tuaj yeem siv tsib yaam ntawm cov thawj coj rau kev tsom xam, tabsis koj tuaj yeem mus rau tag nrho cov npe thiab kos cov neeg uas qhov kev coj ua rau koj ua rau kev chim siab tshaj plaws. Sau cov yeeb yam ntawm lawv cov ntawv tshwj xeeb nrog lawv cov neeg tawm tsam kom koj tuaj yeem kos ib kab ntawm ob tog. Teb cov lus nug zoo, ua siab ncaj thiab zoo dua qub rau cov lus nug hauv qab no:
Leej twg hais tias (nws hais, nws hais tau) tias nws yog qhov tseem ceeb - kom ua raws li cov lus tau xaiv tseg? Nco ntsoov txhua yam koj yuav nco: niam, hluas nraug, psychoanalyst, Carrie Bradshaw, pope, glossy magazines, nyob ntsiag to suab hauv lub taub hau - leej twg.
Dab tsi ntawm tus kheej, kev paub, tau lees tias qhov tseem ceeb ntawm tus cwj pwm no hauv koj lub neej? Qhov kev xaiv "niam thiab tus hluas nraug pom zoo ntawm kuv qhov kev huv" tsis haum. Cia siab rau koj txoj kev xav. Nws yog ib qho tseem ceeb uas cov teeb meem no yog rau koj thiab koj tau txais txiaj ntsig thiab txaus siab rau nws.
Rov saib qhov yeeb yam no. Koj puas xav tso nws lub npe rau nqi rau koj tus kheej? Yog tias yog, tom qab ntawm txoj kab ntawm cov oppositors, kos tus cim rau qhov uas koj xav txog koj tus kheej hnub no thiab tam sim no, thiab xaiv nws lub npe. Piv txwv: ntawm txoj kab ntawm "dej tsaws tsag" thiab "puddles" yuav muaj qhov point uas tseem tsis tau dej tsaws tsag, tab sis tsis yog dej daus. Tej zaum nws lub npe yog kwj deg? Los yog tus dej? Nws yuav yog ib tug menyuam tub? Xaiv cov kev xaiv, cia siab rau lawv tus kheej txoj kev xav, tab sis tsis txhob cia mus ntawm tus neeg sab nraud.
Los ntawm cov npe ntawm tus kheej uas koj cov correspondence rau tus cwj pwm no tseem ceeb heev, xaiv ib qho. Nws tsis yog qhov yuav tsum tau koom nrog kev sib tham nrog qhov tseem ceeb tshaj plaws thiab ua cim nruj heev, xaiv tus neeg uas koj tuaj yeem tig. Thiab sau nws ib tsab ntawv. Nws tuaj yeem yog luv li ib daim ntawv, tab sis nws yuav tsum muaj cov ntsiab lus hauv qab no:
- Ua tsaug rau tus cwj pwm rau nws kev koom tes hauv koj lub neej ("Ua tsaug, tus neeg zej zog, rau kev mloog kuv lub neej");
- Kev lees txais ntawm lub xeev tam sim no ("Kuv tam sim no yog dej, thiab kuv tsis tawm tsam nws");
- Muab ib qho chaw ("thaum kuv xav tias lub dag zog thiab lub siab xav hloov, kuv yuav ua nws, thiab qhov no yuav yog qhov kuv xav tau thiab kuv xaiv").
Thiab yog dab tsi?
Cov kev paub uas khiav nkaum hauv lub vaj huam sib luag "zoo li ib lub xib taw!" Muaj kev sib raug zoo nrog koj cov lus tsis txaus ntseeg, cov npe uas tau cia nrog lub taub hau rau hauv lub ntsiab lus tseem ceeb. Cov qauv no zoo li kev zoo siab, tab sis lawv tsis tseem ceeb rau koj, tiam sis yog qhov kev pom zoo ntawm cov ntaub ntawv pov thawj ntawm ib cheeb tsam (rau ib tug neeg nws tus niam, thiab rau ib tug neeg - ib txwm ntu blogger). Yog li ntawd, nyob rau hauv kev nrhiav ntawm qauv zoo tagnrho, peb poob peb tus kheej, peb poob lub peev xwm thiab lub sijhawm nrog kev hlub kho peb tus kheej, txais peb tus kheej zoo li peb. Tab sis nrog kev ua siab phem heev, peb tso peb tus kheej ntawm ob qho kev tshwj xeeb (dhau mus, feem ntau txaj muag ntawm qhov kawg) teeb, npaj ib lub txaj Procrustean. Ntawm chav kawm, sib piv peb tus kheej nrog lub zoo tagnrho, peb yuav ib txwm yuav chim. Tab sis scolding koj tus kheej yog ib lub lag luam tsis muaj kev vam meej, muaj ntau txoj hauv kev los coj kom hnov kev sib haum xeeb. Tom qab ua tiav qhov kev tawm tswv yim, koj, piv txwv li, tau siv ob peb kauj ruam ntawm tus kab mob neurosis thiab me ntsis - los nrhiav koj tus kheej. Yuav kom muaj kev vam meej, rov qab mus rau ntawm daim ntawv teev npe, ua kom rov qab los ntawm cov yam ntxwv tseem ceeb thiab cov tshiab uas tau txais lub npe, nrhiav koj qhov chaw nruab nrab ntawm cov tawv tsis sib haum. Kuv tsis tau hais tawm kom tawm tswv yim rau txhua qhov - qhov ntawd yog vim li cas hauv tsab ntawv uas koj tau hais rau koj cov neeg ua yeeb yam, muaj kev cog lus ntawm kev hloov, tab sis tsuas yog thaum lub sijhawm tuaj rau lawv. Txawm li cas los xij, kuv hais tias qhov kev xaiv "yuav, tsis yog tshwm sim" txo cov kev pheej hmoo siab, muab kev ywj pheej ntawm kev qhia thiab kev lom zem los ntawm nws, txawm tias thaum nws tsis yog mus ua kom tau zoo.